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Unresolved
childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties
in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue
through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected
by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong
correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction
and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with
others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or
overly clingy.
Attachment problems are often handed down transgenerationally unless someone
breaks the chain. As a parent, an insecurely attached adult may lack the ability
to form a strong attachment to their child and provide the necessary attachment
cues required for the healthy emotional development of the child thereby predisposing
their child to a lifetime of relationship difficulties.
Depending on the genetic personality style of the individual and the early life
events experienced, insecurely attached adults fall in one of two categories
of insecure attachment:
AVOIDANT
- Intense anger and loss
- Hostile
- Critical of others
- Sensitive to blame
- Lack of empathy
- Views others as untrustworthy
- Views others as undependable
- Views self as unlovable or "too good" for
others
- Relationships feel either threatening to one's sense of control,
not worth the effort, or both
- Compulsive self-reliance
- Passive withdrawal
- Low levels of perceived support
Difficulty getting along with co-workers, often preferring to work
alone
- Work may provide a good excuse to avoid personal relations
- Fear of closeness in relationships
- Avoidance of intimacy
- Unlikely to idealize the love relationship
- Tendency toward Introjective depression (self critical)
ANXIOUS/AMBIVALENT
- Compulsive Caregiving
- Feel overinvolved and underappreciated
- Rapid relationship breakups
- Idealizing of others
- Strong desire for partner to reciprocate in relationship
- Desire for extensive contact and declarations of affections
- Overinvests his/her emotions in a relationship
- Perceives relationships as imbalanced
- Relationship is idealized
- Preoccupation with relationship
- Dependence on relationship
- Heavy reliance on partner
- Views partner as desirable but unpredictable (sometimes available,
sometimes not)
- Perceives others as difficult to understand
- Relationship is primary method by which one can experience a sense
of security
- Unlikely to view others as altruistic
- Sensitive to rejection
- Discomfort with anger
- Extreme emotions
- Jealous
- Possessive
- Views self as unlovable
- Suicide attempts
- Mood swings
- Tendency toward anaclitic depression (dependent depression)
GOALS OF THERAPY
- Identify early losses
- Mourn the loss of that which never was but yearned for deeply
- Provide closure to the unresolved relationship longings with parental
attachment figures
- Reorganize belief system and physiological reaction to attachment
relationships
Gratefully, attachment styles are not fixed in stone and with either
positive life experience or appropriate therapeutic intervention and
a strong desire for change adults can alter their relationships and experience
true intimacy and closeness.
ADULT INTENSIVE
"Homework" assignments designed for self-exploration may require time
during the afternoon or evening.
Alternate models of body/mind therapy may require time during the afternoons.
Intimate partners may be invited to join in therapy during part or all of treatment.
Generally 3-5 therapy days working 3-5 hours per day are required.
COST
$200.00 per hour
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